The topic of femininity and masculinity may seem to many to have been studied for a long time. However, in the rapidly changing world of social reality, many people are looking for everything, without finding answers to the eternal questions that interest them: how to attract a man? How to build a normal relationship with a man and preserve yourself? What is a couple in modern conditions: a man and a woman? etc. After all, gender stereotypes often lead to people getting something completely different from what they were looking for in a relationship. And full-fledged gender relationships in a couple remain an eternal value that people will look for as long as humanity will exist..

Gender stereotypes: their transformation in a couple

Gender behavior is largely dependent on the tradition and public opinion formed in a given period of social development. This is how people are designed; the social side of our lives largely determines our behavior. Sometimes this runs counter to deep aspirations and desires.

A social stereotype is a stable social idea about different aspects of people’s lives. Gender stereotypes largely shape public opinion, influencing people's behavior. A woman and a man, like many centuries ago, strive to meet the standards developed by previous experience. Women are perceived as relationship- and everyday-oriented, more empathic and emotional (by the way, we previously wrote about myths about what kind of women men like). Men are credited with greater activity, courage, self-confidence, and more developed logical thinking. However, the daily work of psychologists is increasingly reminiscent of the growing contradiction of previous stereotypical ideas and roles. And often the desire to resist them and form a new reality.

Gender stereotypes are fairly stable formations of social ideas, but nothing more than a myth.

Our right to choose: blindly follow myths or try to be modern without losing touch with deep natural roots.

Man and woman: new realities of modern life

The role of women in modern society has undergone significant changes. Representatives of the fairer sex are mastering once male professions in ever more orderly ranks, not wanting to be content with only maternal and purely female functions in the family. Economic crises also significantly transform the forms of life together between people who form relationships. More and more people prefer modernized forms of living: these include guest marriages, reuniting a couple with living in different cities. Such factors also include the dependence of relationships on the factor of the work provided: people follow primarily earnings, and then form relationships. This affects the couple’s ability and willingness to give birth to full-fledged offspring and continue the family line.

Modern realities, unnoticed by people themselves, are changing the forms of building close relationships. Often, methods of interaction are determined not by the factor of feelings and love, but by more prosaic characteristics.

Society, as before, dictates its conditions in the life of a couple. Interesting studies that demonstrate the desirability of certain qualities in a partner. Thus, the undesirable qualities in women, according to the results of Western research, are the following: intelligence, common sense, integrity, sense of humor, determination. The following qualities are considered undesirable for men: impressionability, shyness, friendliness, gentleness.

What do representatives of different sexes want in a relationship?

The difference in physiology and psychology of men and women suggests their eternal movement simultaneously towards and apart from each other. Women, influenced by the stereotype, are increasingly looking for active, self-confident, courageous and brutal, then being surprised at the lack of understanding of their weak and sensitive nature. And men succumb to sexual-erotic power and dominant care, all expecting an understanding of their need for privacy and an independent world where there are no women. Differences in psychological characteristics are erased when people move towards each other. And with a conflict mood, it intensifies, often leading to a breakup and family tragedies, of which there are many in our lives.
A man always wants to reserve the need for his own space, being more achievement-oriented.

When getting closer, men do not want to be dependent on women, needing purely male companies. In relationships between men and women, women experience the need to accept their often seething emotions, the need to speak out, to be heard, to express empathy and a sense of security. An experienced man can learn to accept women's emotionality, understanding its difference from his own, without ridicule and mockery.

Physiological and psychological differences between the sexes should not become a stumbling block in close relationships. Bringing people together presupposes not only the expectation of shared joys and passions, but also the inner work of accepting the feelings of another.

In the conditions of modern society, gender relations are becoming more and more contradictory, which is superimposed by economic, social, and environmental crises. While living their unique lives, people must have time to realize their gender roles, because they reflect deep instinctive states of need. In this context, N.I.’s statement is impressive. Pirogov: “A woman with a masculine image and even in a man’s dress should remain feminine and never neglect the development of the best talents of feminine nature.”

There are six main parameters of the family system:

1. Stereotypes of interaction
2. Family rules
3. Family myths
4. Family boundaries
5. Family stabilizers
6. Family history

1. Stereotypes of family interaction

They are understood as messages that family members exchange with each other (the husband smiles at his wife, and she sticks out her tongue in response - a preamble to scandal or sex, etc.). Any event is a message in the family. The thunder of pots in the kitchen can mean mom is angry).

Message types:

1. Single-level (on one channel) - for example, the sound of a slamming door.
2. Two-level - the sound of a slamming door, plus a shout in pursuit.
3. Multi-level.

One level is always verbal, the 2nd is non-verbal

Two and multi-level messages are divided into:

1. Congruent (matching).
2. Incongruent (mismatched, divergent).

How are you? – a smile and “everything is fine” – a congruent message. If he says “everything is fine” and lowers his head, this is not a congruent message.

These interactions are often repeated, and those stereotypes that are often repeated are called interaction stereotypes.

In a functional family, most interaction stereotypes are functional (congruent).

Joy on the face, in the voice and words, as well as sadness is a congruent character. When interaction stereotypes are congruent, then all events in the family are clear and understandable, as are emotions and relationships. At the same time, free emotional exchange occurs, the family is able to develop sound decisions, peace and tranquility reign in it.

For a problematic family, the analysis of pathogenic (incongruent) interaction stereotypes is of particular interest.

For example, a teenager comes home, says that everything is fine and at the same time lowers his head down. This is a reason for parental anxiety, fantasies about what happened, mistrust, and a desire for confirmation of what happened. Emotional tension increases and a family problem arises. And if mom, dad, son and grandmother have it, they begin to exchange, tension accumulates, and a pathogenic stereotype of interaction in the family arises. Nobody finds support from anyone. Such stereotypes lead to serious disruptions in family interaction. The more dysfunctional a family is, the more incongruent stereotypes we encounter.

It is necessary to observe the interaction in the family and select incongruity in order to then prescribe the correct correction. Stereotypes can only be tracked by observing the family as a whole. The most significant stereotype is the one described in the late 1969s by a group of American psychologists led by Gregory Bateson. They first examined forms of communication in families with schizophrenic patients. As a result, they found that in each of these families there is a special stereotype of the double bond.

The essence of the double bind is that the child is constantly receiving incongruent messages in a situation where he cannot leave or distance himself or check the interaction situation itself. Mothers verbally told their children that they loved them, but this was not confirmed verbally. The child is small and cannot check the correctness of the message. At one level of communication, hostility is shown, and at the other (verbal) love is spoken.

If a child receives such a double message, a state of confusion arises - which part of this double message to believe? Accordingly, the child cannot receive proper emotional attachment. I’ll join in “I love you” - she will move away. I’ll join in the “move aside” - she scolds me. Such a child finds himself in a state of chronic confusion. Schizophrenia, in this case, is a kind of way out of a state of constant confusion, through autism.

In this case, the consultant promotes the transformation of incongruent stereotypes into congruent ones. Incongruent stereotypes are a very strong habit, it is impossible to change it until you see yourself from the outside.

2. Family rules

Every family has its own rules of life. They are divided into vowels and unspoken ones, which everyone knows about, by which everyone lives, but which are not voiced or not recognized. If we are talking about public rules, then it is easy to agree on them. If they are not voiced, subordination is unspoken, people pretend that there are no rules. It is important to identify not only the spoken, but also the unspoken rules.

There are also rules:

1. Cultural, which exist in a particular culture and are accepted by many families. They are known to all family members and all families. For example, parents should not have sex in front of their children.
2. Unique rules apply to each individual family, arise due to the unique history of the family and are known only to the members of that family. They are often unspoken.

The rules concern the main areas of family life. The husband works, the wife is a housewife. The rules apply to the sphere of leisure and household. They contribute to the distribution of family roles and functions.

The rules in each family determine the place a family member will occupy in the family hierarchy. The new element in this structure will be promoted according to the rules. The rules apply to the place of children in the family.

The totality of all family rules is subject to the law of homeostasis (preservation), which ensures the constancy of these rules. If someone can point out this unspoken family rule, it may become persona nongrata.

The rules need to change according to the dynamics of family life. This is a painful process.

The rules of family life apply to all areas of life. Some are produced within the family (unique), some are brought into the family culturally. The rules concern the distribution of roles in the family. They are quite contradictory. On the one hand, there is a rule that the husband is the head of the family, on the other hand, there is a rule of equality between men and women. Rules define power struggles within the family and define family dysfunction.

The rules can be divided into:

1. Functional.
2. Dysfunctional.

What is dysfunctional about a rule is its content. Those who enable domestic violence set dysfunctional rules. Dysfunctional rules are characterized by stability (rigidity). Any rule that is difficult to change is dysfunctional.

Functional rules are those that can be changed. To help the family, you need to identify dysfunctional rules.

3. Family myths.

This is complex family knowledge, often poorly understood, which consists of a set of family rules formed over at least three generations and which are, as it were, a continuation of the phrase “We are...” Usually the family myth remains in a latent state. He wakes up when:

1. A stranger enters the family.
2. At moments of major social change.
3. In a situation of family dysfunction.

Usually in a functional family the myth is very deep. The more dysfunctional the family becomes, the more the myth begins to awaken. A myth is not always dysfunctional. It can be completely natural and determined by the conditions where the family lives. But if in the 1st generation it is perceived as normal, then by the third generation it can become painful for one of the family members.

People who are inside a myth, as a rule, are not aware of this myth. Since they are inside the myth, they begin to see reality in the categories of this myth. Often family myths correspond to famous ancient Greek myths. Hercules, Domocles, Tantalus, etc. live in families.

Depending on the stage of development of the myth, the family can develop from functional to dysfunctional. The myth: “We are a close-knit family…” in two generations, in the third generation leads to difficulties in separating children from their parents.

4. Family boundaries

Any family is a system, and any system has its own structure and boundaries. Family boundaries are closely dependent on the state of the boundaries of large social systems. The more open the boundaries of a larger social system (state), the more closed the boundaries of a smaller social system (family) and vice versa. For 70 years the USSR was a closed state, but families were very open. Now the state system has opened and the boundaries of the family are rapidly closing. A positive attitude towards closed family systems is formed. But if the boundaries of the family are closed, then the boundaries of the subsystem (mother, father) are increasingly opening up. For such systems, vertical dysfunctional coalitions (mom and daughter against dad) are very common. All vertical coalitions are dysfunctional, while horizontal ones are functional.

When consulting, it is important to answer the question - where are the boundaries, what are they, how do they pass, and why is the restructuring taking place.

The triangle allows you to see the coalitions: the evening triangle and the day triangle. For example, in a family there is a father, a mother, a child and a TV. Evening triangle when the child is sleeping. If mom and dad don’t talk, communication can go through the child. When a child goes to sleep in the evening, the TV takes its place in the triangle.

The boundaries of the family are visible at first glance. They are clearly visible based on how the family interacts with close families.

5. Family stabilizers

Each family, both functional and dysfunctional, has its own stabilizers:

• forms of activity
• material things, etc.

They support the functioning of the family, prolonging its life

Functional stabilizers:

1. General place of residence
2. General funds
3. General forms of activity and activities
4. General entertainment, etc.

Dysfunctional stabilizers are those that prolong the life of a dysfunctional family:

1. Children
They are an element of the family system, grow and develop in it. In a functional family they are not stabilizers. But in a dysfunctional one, instead of the family spending energy on its development, all elements of the system spend a lot of energy on preserving the family. The child, by his presence, forces the family not to break up. Children have begun to become such stabilizers in the last 100–150 years, which is associated with an increase in life expectancy. Previously, marriages lasted no more than 20 years; children did not have time to become stabilizers.

In accordance with the law of homeostasis, the family tries to maintain its stability and the child plays the role of a stabilizer that keeps the family from falling apart.

2. Diseases
Both diseases that arise in addition to the influence of the family system (somatic), and disorders generated by the system itself (psychosomatic and mental). If a sick child appears in a family, he becomes a dysfunctional stabilizer of the system. Likewise, if a mentally ill person appears in the family. Various psychosomatic disorders may also arise, which also force the family to exist for quite a long time.

3. Behavioral disorders
There are a sufficient number of families where children run away from home, commit petty thefts, etc. This becomes a kind of family stabilizer. These behavior disorders are often a reaction to dysfunctional family relationships. Twos in a diary are often an unconscious action to draw the attention of parents to their children. Such a problem child prolongs the life of a dysfunctional family.

4. Adultery – with fear of intimacy syndrome.

6. Family history

Many dysfunctional stereotypes in the family are reproduced over generations. For example, alcoholism, suicide, love affairs, etc.

Today, genetic diseases and simply behavioral stereotypes with inheritance stereotypes have been precisely established. Hence, family psychologists are interested in the family history of the life of the family being studied and each of the family members they make up. This interest helps to understand the current troubles that arose. One of the techniques by which you can correctly find out history is the genogram technique. It was created by Murray Bowel, an American psychologist. This technique allows you to record not only the structure of the family, but also to verify one or another type of relationship in families. The circle denotes a woman, the square denotes a man. The line of their connection is marriage. Children are designated by a circle or square, with their age indicated inside. This gives an idea of ​​the nature of family relationships. If someone in the family has died, this is indicated by a crossed out square, and the dates of life and death are indicated. Abortions and miscarriages are a crossed out triangle. Divorce is indicated by two parallel lines. Marriage restoration - a line reconnecting the square and the circle. A relationship without marriage is a dotted line. The nature of the relationship is also recorded - two parallel lines for good relationships, distant relationships - a dotted line. Families have symbiotic relationships - 3 parallel lines. This is a very close relationship with a pronounced emotional dependence of people on each other. As interpersonal distance increases, children find it difficult to tolerate separation. Various neurotic states arise, the child becomes more infantile, he is unable to begin and lead an independent life. If 2 elements are surrounded by a dotted line, there is a coalition. If there is a coalition, a symbiotic relationship, dysfunction occurs. Any dysfunction vertically will be reproduced horizontally.

Two oblique lines - a relationship such as an emotional break. Conflict relationships in families are depicted with a wavy line.

Ambivalent relationships - 2 parallel lines crossed by a sine wave - when people experience strong contradictory attitudes towards each other. Periods of intimacy alternate with conflicts.

The margins of the genogram indicate names, dates of birth and death, and significant dates in the history of the family (moves, arrests, etc.). If the genogram is examined over three generations, the source of the family myth can be established. This technique allows you to establish the boundaries of the family who had similar stereotypes. There are certain patterns that are reproduced in the family.

The genogram technique also makes it possible to determine the degree of differentiation in the family. What is differentiation is a concept that defines the characteristics of the individual psyche and reflects the degree of differentiation between the individual and the functional. The lower the level of differentiation, the more easily thought processes fall under the power of emotions. The higher the dependence of an individual’s behavior on the situation. There is a differentiation scale with 4 areas.

Extreme region 0 – 25% – emotions completely dominate thought processes. Behavioral attitudes are completely dependent on stereotypes. In stable conditions, he functions based on common sense, but with a little stress, emotions acquire complete power over such a person.

At 25–50%, a person also predominantly has emotions, but they are more adaptive and less determined by the environment. There is goal-directed behavior here, but the person is overly dependent on the opinions of others. A person checks each step with the environment and does not really trust himself. A person may not perform significant actions if the environment looks at it negatively.

50 – 70% intellectual functions are sufficiently formed not to be influenced by emotions. They only take over under extreme stress. Most of humanity falls under this parameter. Intelligence determines decision-making, and emotions are actively manifested in close relationships.

How family is connected. Undifferentiation means that when interacting in a group, an individual easily enters into emotional fusion with others. A person who is unable to separate his mind from his emotions cannot separate this in others, especially in loved ones. Such a person, without realizing it, charges his family with different emotions. Such a family is called emotionally united. There is a lot of family ego - it is not clear who is the source of emotions. This emotional unity begins to affect the model of individual behavior and family behavior too. A child in such a family will become infected, for example, by his mother’s emotions. Having created his family, he will try to merge excessively with his wife.

In close-knit families, mutual emotional involvement is so great that they know each other's thoughts and fantasies. If such closeness is observed constantly, it becomes unbearable. This hyper-closeness is characterized by periods of alienation. Sometimes periods of super-closeness, sometimes alienation. Often in such ambivalent families children appear - schizophrenics. Leaving such a close-knit family can be accomplished not through separation, but through an emotional break. Each is a vital element to the other. When the son strives to separate, the mother will try with all her might to keep him. At best, he will marry someone. With such unity, it is not possible to set the distance in the family to a finite value. It is impossible to maintain the relationship between an adult son and mother. Two options arise - either a state of fusion and then symbiosis, or a situation of rupture and then the distance becomes infinite. The situation of emotional rupture turns out to be not the opposite, but its reverse side, i.e. on the contrary, it implies super-closeness. This means that such a son can leave the symbiosis with his mother, break the connection with his mother and go far away. But he will still take the image of his mother with him. This relationship will still remain in him. And in a new relationship with his wife, he will still continue to reproduce the relationship with his mother. Genes have nothing to do with it, just a stereotype. Thus, this low differentiation at the individual level leads to the fact that the family will also be characterized by immaturity, low resistance to stress, dependence on mass consciousness and the opinions of others, and unrealistic self-esteem. Super closeness will alternate with alienation. The emotional state of the family will depend on the same factor. The wife is sad and the husband, when he comes home, falls into sadness, and the children also fall into it, indiscriminately for reasons. The family will be characterized by resistance to the influence of the psychologist, conservatism. Any external influences for the family can be fatal. These are people who cannot live without each other. Hence the inability to adapt to changes, including moving from one stage of family life to another.

A stereotype is a variant of a personal attitude. An attitude is a kind of prism through which, under certain conditions or in relation to a certain object, a person perceives the world and behaves in only one way. Our world is saturated with stereotypes. You cannot escape them, since they are a product of social consciousness. Stereotypes bring both benefit and harm.

The term "stereotype" was coined in 1922 by sociologist Walter Lippmann. The author interpreted it as “a picture in our head.”

Social attitude includes 3 components:

• knowledge about the object (cognitive element);
• emotions and evaluation in relation to the object (affective component);
• willingness to act in a specific way (behavioral component).

A stereotype is a social attitude with a lack of a cognitive component (lack of knowledge, false information, outdated data). How an attitude stereotype predetermines our behavior.

Stereotypical thinking is often limiting. It is often guided by outdated, inaccurate, narrow, erroneous ideas about a person, a social phenomenon, a natural phenomenon and the characteristics of interaction with it.

Stereotypes have their pros and cons:

• On the one hand, this limits, prevents disclosure, or simply harms where the object of the stereotype has changed (minus).
• But on the other hand, stereotypes allow you to save time and effort where objects, situations and actions in relation to them are simple and unchanging (a plus).
• Stereotypes are dangerous because they can form one expectation, but a person will have to face a completely different reality (minus). It would be good if reality turns out to be better. If it’s the other way around, then the individual risks finding himself in a state of frustration and maladjustment.
• Stereotypes help save nervous energy, allowing you to act in similar situations by inertia (a plus).

Each personality has an internal hierarchy of stereotypes. For example, the popular stereotype that a woman should first of all be realized as a housewife, mother, wife, may come first for one person and fifth for another.

Stereotypes are formed and reinforced at the mental level. Cognitive circuits, or a complex of neural connections, arise in the brain, which provide the same reaction to repeated situations. For example, the entire personality can be viewed as a cognitive schema, a schema of our personality.

Most often, stereotypes arise in relation to certain groups differentiated by gender, age, nation, status, role. For example, the well-known statement that all women are the weaker sex. But stereotypes can speak about norms of behavior, development, and life. Then they become intertwined with values.

Most stereotypes are formed in childhood. The influence is exerted by the environment, any significant people. That is, stereotypes are the consequences of learning during the socialization of an individual. I am sure that you or your entourage will have a couple of statements about some nation whose representatives you have not even personally communicated with.

Stereotypes can be both positive and negative, but very often they contain an erroneous generalization.

• For example, what do most people imagine when they hear a woman call herself a housewife? A plump lady with curlers on her head, in a greasy apron, with an exhausted look, not working. In fact, every woman can be called a housewife, and the era of the Internet allows many to work within the walls of the home.
• Or why many people associate the birth of a child with the inevitable collapse of one’s figure and “giving up oneself.” In fact, this is an individual choice of each woman.
• The popular opinion is that old age = wisdom, intelligence. No, these are not synonyms. Just like you can’t respect a person based on their age. Old people, like teenagers, youth, adults are different. Among them there are also unpleasant, selfish, asocial personalities.

We can say that personal stereotypes contain the prejudices of previous generations and the society in which the person was raised.

Features of stereotypical perception

Thinking through stereotypes has the following features:

• The effect of projection, the essence of which is that when communicating, we endow people who are unpleasant to us with our shortcomings, and our advantages - with people who are pleasant.
• The average error effect involves averaging the salient features of another person.
• An order effect, in which when communicating with an unfamiliar person we give more trust to primary information, and when communicating with an old acquaintance - to fresh data.
• The halo effect, or judging a person based on one of his actions (good or bad).
• The effect of stereotyping, or endowing a person with characteristic (stereotypical) traits for a certain group, for example, focusing on the person’s profession.

Types and forms of stereotypes

Stereotypes characterize both individual personal characteristics and external characteristics of people. For example, the stereotype about the emotionality of women and the rationality of men (individual-personal characteristics) is still alive. There is also a popular stereotype that tattoos are applied only by disadvantaged or socially dangerous people, or by frivolous people (external stereotypes). Or the stereotype that black clothing is a sign of depression and internal discord.

There is no single classification of stereotypes:

• One distinguishes the following types (V.N. Panferov): anthropological, social, emotionally expressive.
• Domestic psychologist Arthur Aleksandrovich Rean identified anthropological, ethno-national, social-status, social-role, expressive-aesthetic, verbal-behavioral stereotypes.
• O. G. Komarova identified 3 types of stereotypes: ethnic, professional, gender role.

Thus, the phenomenon of stereotypes can be viewed from several perspectives:

• content;
• adequacy (often it is based on a true fact);
• origin of stereotypes (conditions and factors of occurrence);
• the role of stereotypes in human life, the perception of other people and the functioning of society.

Adequate, that is, true stereotypes are useful and necessary, since ours also needs to rest. But the influence of inadequate stereotypes should be limited. An adequate stereotype becomes inadequate when true data becomes outdated due to a change in the object of the stereotype.

How to get rid of stereotypes

We cannot control the process of stereotyping, but we can consciously reduce their influence on our behavior and perceptions of people. It is impossible to completely get rid of stereotypes.

Based on the fact that a stereotype is a stable and categorical, simplified idea, a judgment about something, widespread in the environment of the person who adheres to it, it can be argued that the influence of stereotypes will be corrected by:

• change of environment;
• expanding knowledge about the object of the stereotype.

With the first, everything is clear: leave the country, make new friends, and so on. What about the second point?

Stereotypes are cliches, labels. How to get rid of them? Be critical and selective of incoming information. At a minimum, do not accept any fact until you personally encounter it. It is important not to succumb to media provocations or societal pressure (even from parents and older comrades). Learn to double-check information. It's a matter of practice. We heard some fact, doubted it, found several sources, if the information does not disagree, then we can believe it.

Find source

Afterword

Thus, stereotypes can be broken from two positions:

• other people's beliefs through personal example and actions, the search for inner harmony;
• their beliefs through the activity of cognition of the external world.

For example, at a young age there can also be poor health. If you accept this in yourself and others, then you’re already minus one stereotype. On your day off, you don’t have to run away from home to a cafe or club; you can enjoy the comfort of home. So the second stereotype is broken. There must be children in a marriage, but you have not yet achieved your plans for self-realization, you are not ready to take care of children, although your marriage is strong and tested over the years? This means there is no need to have children yet. Know yourself and create appropriate conditions around you.

Make a list of the most popular stereotypes for you and go ahead to destruction. Check them personally. Self-knowledge and knowledge are the basis for getting rid of stereotypes. In both cases, you will find yourself and be able to control stereotypical behavior and thinking, and not vice versa.

A person is a unit of society, therefore he is obliged to obey its laws and orders. Life in society has many advantages, but it limits the individual to rigid boundaries and imposes norms called stereotypes. Stereotypes indicate requirements for an individual’s standard of living, indicating functions and place in social relations. They influence the way people think and their self-determination.

Some stereotypes are firmly entrenched in the mind and sound like your own thoughts. A person is afraid to subject himself to negative criticism from the masses, tries not to stand out and stay within the “norm”. So he tries on a generally accepted position, which he does not understand or condemns. A doubt arises whether it is worth giving in to existing stereotypes, forgetting about uniqueness, or trying to rebel, defending a position.

Boys - blue, girls - pink

One of the popular groups of stereotypes is gender. They imply stable images-symbols and patterns of behavior imposed on representatives of different sexes. The emergence and preservation of stereotypes is due to the centuries-old evolution of gender relations, where gender was placed above the personality traits of men and women.

We are accustomed to giving men and women the same character traits and social roles, forgetting about individuality. Social prejudices determine the degree to which women and men conform to a generally accepted standard. This often becomes the cause of misunderstanding between a man and a woman.

Let's look at 7 of the most famous (and often erroneous) gender stereotypes that follow us everywhere.

Girls for shopping, boys for football

A gender stereotype is the thesis that women and men have psychological characteristics. These features influence the range of interests and taste habits. Femininity(designation of psychological qualities attributed to women) implies typical female character traits:

• friendliness;
• softness and sentimentality;
• preference for pink color;
• addiction to household chores (cleaning and cooking);
• interest in melodramatic TV series;
• love of shopping;
• the ability to chat on the phone for several hours.

A masculinity(designation of psychological qualities attributed to men) attributes the following characteristics to men:

• determination
• determination
• responsibility
• ability to stand up for yourself (start a fight)
• love for football
• interest in cars.

It is paradoxical that most of the above serves as an example of a false understanding of femininity and masculinity. The named qualities and traits reflect only figurative associations associated with a specific gender. The reliability of prejudices is questionable: you probably know men who adore TV series, or women who hate shopping.

Think logically or keep quiet

Don't divide, conquer

In ancient times, a real man was considered a leader with strength and the ability to influence others, subjugating the weak. In the modern world, authority is considered an ineffective method in the struggle for rights. But men are still taught the need to be dictators and overlords, even if this is not typical for them. On the other side of prejudice are women, from whom they demand unconditional submission to a representative of the stronger sex. This is the reality for many women (in particular for followers of the Islamic religion).

Social status

In Russia, there is an idea that a woman is a caring and flexible keeper of the hearth, a loving wife and mother. A man is the head of the family, the breadwinner and the protector. The ideas led to the emergence of symbolic images reflecting the division of social roles. A woman is associated with the kitchen, children, home; a man with money, a car, a family. Because of standardization, conditions are heard: “if you have a small salary, you are not a real man,” “until you have children, you cannot be considered a woman.”

Patriarchal views have become part of the traditional vision of the ideal family. Couples seeking to change social roles face condemnation and misunderstanding from their environment. But there are already many families that break the stereotype. Thus, women appeared who ran businesses and provided for their families, and men who took on raising children and running the household. The state of affairs should not be regarded as a degradation of relationships in the family. The spouses should, after consulting, choose those duties to which they are inclined.

The problem of primacy

A well-established argument that men and women like to follow is the “order” of performing actions in the development of relationships. Stereotypes from the category “A man should offer to meet,” “A woman should not call first!” Think about whether you need to adhere to specific “laws” of adherence that tell you who should do what first. The effectiveness of the approach has not been proven. Is it really important who writes an SMS today or hugs you when you meet? Forget about competition and act as your heart tells you!

Women want love and men want sex

The opinion follows that women dream of marriage because they need love, and men want to drag a woman into marriage because they do not know how to truly love. It is generally accepted that a man’s love is physiological, so he needs a constant change of partners, and a woman’s love is romantic, because she remains faithful to the man. This argument justifies polygamy for men and monogamy for women. Although in reality this is not the case.

Attractive appearance is a woman's prerogative

The appearance is adjusted to the parameters. But the demands placed on men and women are disproportionate. A true lady should have expressive facial features and a slender figure, be able to professionally do makeup and hair removal, and wear stylish clothes. For many years, the only requirement for a gentleman was to be “a little nicer than a monkey.” Although now male attractiveness has begun to be measured by the size of the biceps, the presence of stubble or a beard, tattoos and other attributes of a real male. This distorts the understanding of male and female beauty.

Understand one thing: look the way you want. If you feel comfortable in your own body, then this pursuit of ideal appearance parameters is useless.

Adoption or protest

Stereotypes will never disappear from life, so you need to decide whether you approve of them or not. You can come to terms with and accept the mass value system if they do not contradict your views. Or you can refuse and build your own system of reference points. The second way is more difficult, but more productive: you don’t have to accept views that you don’t agree with and pretend to be someone you’re not. Here you will encounter misunderstanding and hostility from people who think in stereotypes. Be calm and loyal: stick to your opinion and be tolerant of others.

But the main thing is to be unique and remain yourself!