It's no secret that women are excellent manipulators: the ability to manipulate members of the opposite sex, often even unconsciously, is given to them by nature. Here are five common ways women can manipulate men.

1. Unpredictability

It is difficult to argue with the fact that any woman is more or less unpredictable: often women can do or say something that men could not expect from them. And that's a great way to influence. If a woman wants to get something from a man, then she can surprise him, both pleasant and not too much: it can be a thing that he has long wanted, or, on the contrary, a sudden showdown, even if everything went well, and the man did not expect this. More precisely, especially if he did not expect it.

Men, on the contrary, for the most part strive for stability - unexpected actions unsettle them. If he receives a gift, he seeks to repay the same in order not to feel obligated, and in case of a quarrel he tries to end the conflict as quickly as possible at any cost.

2. This thought is his own

Imagine that you want to go with your man to the sea, and he refuses to go, saying that he has a lot of work / not enough money / he would like to spend a vacation at the computer and the like - there can be many excuses. How to proceed?

Many women use the tactics of suggestion in this case: a few months before the trip, you can casually mention that it would be great to relax by the sea - this is just a mention, nothing more. Then the woman mentions a little later, and then again. In the end, the man himself begins to dream about this trip and buys tickets.

If you want to receive something as a gift, unobtrusively mention it on suitable occasions, but do not put pressure on the man - this will not work. Let him believe that he himself figured out how to please you - in the end, both of you will benefit from this.

3. Emphasized silence

If a woman is silent and under no circumstances does not want to enter into a dialogue, then she is most likely offended. This leads to the fact that the man begins to feel guilty, because the female silence is unusual for him. Consequently, such a situation unsettles him, he tries to restore the usual order of things and, as a rule, tries to find out what's wrong.

The paradox is that a man automatically feels guilty, even if in reality he has nothing to reproach himself with. Such silence is an excellent method of manipulation: in order to make amends for his "misconduct", a man is ready to promise to do or buy something, and promises, as you know, must be kept.

4. Emotional contrast

Often a woman makes the man she likes feel her location: she smiles, speaks affectionately with him and uses other techniques to create emotional, and possibly physical intimacy.

After a while, she suddenly moves away, it becomes colder: she may not answer calls, refuse dates, arguing her behavior by the fact that she is very busy. The man is puzzled - what happened, because everything went so well? He himself begins to look for ways of rapprochement and after a while "succeeds" - the woman again approaches him. For a while.

Thanks to this emotional contrast, a man becomes more attached to a woman: if a man was fine with a woman, and then she moved away from him, then he will do anything to regain her location.

5. Beauty

A man can forgive a lot of things for a beautiful woman: he will do the impossible for an attractive and interesting woman, he will devote a lot of his time and attention to her. As they say, beauty is a terrible force, and women are fully able to use it. A woman who takes care of her appearance, figure and style is always liked by a man more than the one who does not.

Beauty is one of the most effective ways to influence men. And a slender figure is one of the necessary conditions for beauty, because men pay attention to the figure in the first place. An innovative product for weight loss and maintenance "XL-S Medical" based on natural plant fibers, the safety and effectiveness of which has been clinically confirmed, will help you to be irresistible.

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Content

Many men simply never apologize, they do not know how to speak words of love and ask for forgiveness. Every woman knows how unpleasant and insulting it is when her husband, after another quarrel, is not going to ask for forgiveness.

A bit of science

Research scientists show that the brains of women and men think differently, from birth. For example, an increased amount of the hormone estrogen in women makes them more emotional, which cannot be said about men. As a result of the action of this hormone, they form different thinking and behavior. From the very birth, girls are distinguished by their abilities, for example, in the first days of their lives they are able to distinguish children's crying from extraneous noise. In addition, they react more strongly to children's cries and moans, unlike boys. Girls develop faster and therefore, at 4 months of age, they react to photographs of people they know.

The male brain differs from the female in its structure, it is 10% larger. Therefore, men easily and quickly cope with logical puzzles, construction and work in measurements. This suggests that their right hemisphere is much better developed than women. But women do not lag behind in their abilities, thanks to a strong connection between the hemispheres of the brain, the fair sex quickly processes the information that they receive from both hemispheres at once. This is both intuition and logic. All these studies show that a man and a woman are different people, so they simply cannot behave the same way and think the same way.

The right approach to a man

To make a young man show emotions, think and feel guilty, a woman must learn to use the above in practice. The fact is that from childhood, men live by the principle: “Less words, more deeds!”. They give more importance to deeds than to words. This principle also applies to relationships, a man believes that he cannot ask for forgiveness after a quarrel, as he can shake his status, his courage. He cannot admit his guilt and, as a result, shows complete unwillingness to go to reconciliation first.

The male gender does not use apologies to re-establish contact with relatives or loved ones, this is the prerogative of women. Therefore, in order for him to understand his guilt, to assess the situation, he needs to be given some time after the quarrel. The fact that he changed his mind, his actions will tell. When a young man admits his guilt, he tries to help the woman around the house, thus expressing his apologies to her. You should not immediately demand more, this is already an achievement, because the husband has accepted his guilt and is trying to atone for it.

Over time, family relationships are strengthened, trust and mutual understanding increase, so a man can admit his guilt and ask for forgiveness even during a quarrel. In family relationships, wisdom must be shown, because guilt oppresses a man the most and gives him great discomfort. Only a woman can consolidate the current situation, who will thank him for trying to fix everything and for the fact that her beloved husband asked for forgiveness, admitted his guilt.

It is important for a man to know that his wife appreciates him in any situation, even if they quarreled.

After another quarrel, the husband does not always understand that in this situation there is also his fault. A woman always has her own point of view, which very rarely coincides with the male opinion. For some wives, it is important that the husband act according to this point of view. But first, he should explain and tell him what he is doing wrong, the logic should be supported by arguments and facts. A man may agree with the conclusions, but not everyone wants to overpower himself and ask for forgiveness. In some situations, it is enough for a woman that he understood her.

But, there are also cases when a man, even after the arguments given, does not agree with the opinion of a woman. He has his own moral foundations and principles, he, of course, is an independent person and has every right to own his own opinion. It is bad if this opinion cannot be even slightly changed. Many women act wisely and leave their husband alone with his right.

In the case of a caring and loving young man, it's simple. In order to make him apologize, the girl is enough to get upset or cry. If a young man loves, he will do anything to calm his beloved. He will give flowers, sweets, shower her with compliments and ask for forgiveness for any of his ugly deeds.

Men who have the spirit of chauvinism are hard to unbalance with tears alone. There may be a backlash, the guy will get angry and be even more confident. In such a relationship, the girl needs to behave differently.

You can achieve an apology in a calm way, if you talk and tell that the man did wrong, describe your emotions. The guy can be sure that he is right, but it is necessary to point out his mistakes, and even better, use a good example. He will not immediately apologize, he needs time to think about the offense, to understand his mistakes, then he will understand everything himself. If you demand an apology by force, then he will resist and disagree.

After realizing his mistake, the man will try to find the culprit, a smart woman, using all the advantages of her beloved, will help him figure out the situation.

Even the most difficult character can be brought under control. A calm conversation and analysis of the mistakes made will help a man admit that sometimes he is wrong. That's when the moment will come when he will ask for forgiveness from his beloved. The trouble with modern young people is that some of them prefer to break off relations with a girl than to ask her for forgiveness for their mistakes.

Causes of the problem

There are some reasons why a guy does not admit his guilt and, of course, does not consider it necessary to apologize.

• If a man admits his mistakes, then this will be a strong blow for him, which will affect not only self-esteem, but also pride. He can understand in his soul and understand that he is to blame, but he will never openly agree with this.
• Unlike women, men cannot share their experiences or joys, they do not like to show their emotions. This is a psychological feature of every young person, they keep all their emotions and experiences in themselves. A husband or boyfriend can reveal himself only in an exceptional situation, for example, when something terrible has happened, and they are afraid of losing their soulmate.
• Both are always to blame for the conflict, but most women try to shift all responsibility onto the man. That is why, they leave the conversation, because they are sure that they cannot avoid criticism and condemnation. Despite all the restraint, men are vulnerable creatures, like other people, they are easy to offend with words.

Manipulation with the help of guilt is the most elementary and common method of everyday manipulation. Remember how many times a month you play a grudge in front of your partner or friend so that he, feeling guilty, fulfills your desires. This is the most typical, but far from the only example.

1. “And other mothers will come!”

The child declares in response to your refusal to come to a school holiday, a football match, a reporting concert of a music studio. You have a blockage at work, an annual report and ten other good reasons. However, you still feel guilty.

“It's a matter of social pressure,” says Marie-Yves Landry. - Some mothers are actively involved in the life of the child. As a result, your son or daughter is afraid to be different. And you, of course, are also worried.

How to behave? Decide if you are ready to sacrifice a job, a business meeting, or other plans for the sake of a child this time. If you can't, promise to come next time. And then surely fulfill your obligations. And this time, a grandmother or aunt can go to school so that the child does not feel deprived of attention.

2. “And this is after what I did for you!”

A father, mother or other elderly relative complains in response to a refusal to comply with his request. In this situation, it is logical to feel guilty, because your parents really put a lot of effort into your upbringing. Now you are investing in your children. But it's your choice. Just like once upon a time sacrificing something for you was the choice of your parents.

How to behave? Try to tell your parents more often how much you appreciate them. And indulge as much as possible, without waiting for an insistent request. Then you can refuse in a certain situation without being tormented by guilt.

3. "I should have thought about it!"

You are tormented by being stuck in traffic and hopelessly late for an important meeting. “If you often repeat this phrase, then you are used to blaming yourself for everything. Although sometimes we are simply powerless in the face of circumstances, ”explains the psychologist. Such behavior is counterproductive.

How to behave? Think, could you have foreseen this traffic jam? And will it help that you lament about it? Isn't it more important to try to find a way out of the situation? For example, leave the car in the nearest parking lot and try to get to the right place by metro. Instead of blaming yourself for everything, it’s better to praise later that you were able to find the right solution.

4. "I need you to help me!"

Says a colleague when you are about to leave the office. “The word “need” makes you feel obligated to do a duty. We were taught from childhood to help friends in a difficult situation. They suggested that a good person will always come to the rescue, ”explains the expert.

How to behave? Is your help really important in this situation? Why is a colleague asking you specifically? Can he manage on his own? And if you don't, how serious are the consequences? Many factors influence the right decision in this situation. But most importantly, do not confuse friendships and relationships between colleagues.

5. "We all know how busy you are"

A friend remarks ironically when you cancel a long-planned meeting. Sometimes hints, omissions, a special intonation and a meaningful look hurt more than directly expressed claims. And then you yourself conjecture the degree of resentment of a friend and its causes.

How to behave? Talk openly. Tell me why you can't come. Perhaps he is not offended at all. Just don't start with an apology and don't try to make excuses. So you only show weakness. If the meeting failed not the first time because of your busyness or forgetfulness, think about how to please a friend. For example, give him a nice surprise, send him a cute card or a song you loved in school.

6. "You relaxed a little"

So delicately your spouse hints that you have gained a couple of extra pounds. You yourself know that you are not in shape now, but this is your body. Why do you feel guilty? “In this case, it is born out of a conflict between the body that you have and the ideal figure that you have always dreamed of,” says Marie-Yves Landry. - Who among us would not like to be slim. But for this you need to go on a diet and go to the gym. We don't, and therefore we are ashamed of our laziness."

How to behave? Instead of being ashamed or resentful of your partner for this reproach, it is better to discuss your relationship. What prompted his remark? Maybe he's just worried? Afraid that you will lose your former lightness or that you may have health problems? Offer to start the fight for harmony together. Eating right or going to the gym is more fun together.

About the Expert: Marie-Yves Landry is a clinical psychologist based in Montreal. Specialist in stress, anxiety, adaptation.

The ability to make a person feel guilty will help you hear an apology or get something you want. However, if you manage to make the person feel guilty, they may resent you for it. If you still decide on such an act, then remember that personal relationships are probably more important than your desire to get yours.

Steps

How to make someone apologize

1. Ask questions to get the person to acknowledge their action. A person will not apologize if he does not agree that he did something wrong. Direct accusations will force him to defend himself, but leading questions may force him to confess. In extreme cases, you can catch him in a lie and prove the deception.

   • For example, if you find out that your boyfriend is seeing another girl, then you can ask questions such as “Why didn’t you answer when I called you?” If he says that he was busy at work, then you can answer: "You were not at work, I called the office."
   • If you know that the child took money from the wallet without asking, then say: “Where did you get money for a movie ticket yesterday?”
   • Try not to blame people for things they didn't do. If it is in vain to accuse a person, perhaps he will decide that he now has the right to commit such an act.

2. Think of other human misdeeds. Be the victim to make others feel guilty. Pretend that such behavior of a person is already natural, but you deserve better treatment. It is best to remember situations similar to the current one, but other mistakes will come down that you can take offense at.

   • For example, if you want to force your spouse to apologize for being irritable, then tell him: “This is not the first time you have lashed out at me. Remember how you said...?”
   • Use this technique only as a last resort, since it is likely that the person will also remember moments when you did not act in the best way.

3. Play on the person's feelings. Say that doing this makes you question the person's feelings for you. Often everything really is, especially if you have been seriously offended. You need to convince the person that he needs to prove to you that he cares.

   • Say, "How could you first confess your love and then lie to me?"
   • You can also say, “I'm sorry you forgot my birthday. Do I mean anything to you at all?"

4. Remind me of your courtesies and favors. Contrast the person's mistake with the courtesies you did for him. The more recent or significant these reminders are, the better, but anything will do. It is not at all necessary that they resonate with the current situation. Just show how good you are.

   • If a person took your item without permission, then say: “After everything that I have done for you, you decided to rob me?”
   • You can also say, "Looks like you don't care about the flowers I gave you, since you decided to make a quarrel out of nothing."
   • Another option: "I've been cooking dinner for you every day for five years, and you forget to buy a carton of milk on the way home?"
   • If you overdo it, most likely, over time, a person will become less grateful to you, because after each of your good deeds, he will think how soon you will start to reproach him.

5. Reject any attempts by the person to turn the situation into your fault. If you try to make a person feel guilty, then perhaps he will try to pull off the same trick with you in return. Do not admit your guilt, even if you did something wrong. Try to turn the situation in your favor.

   • For example, if you want your partner to apologize for texting another girl, he might try to shame you for checking his phone. In this case, you can say: “It turns out that I really have reason to be suspicious?”
   • Even if you flared up, you can notice: “I wouldn’t have screamed if you hadn’t taken me out!”
   • Refusing to admit guilt can be an effective tactic for this situation, but it is not the best approach for building a strong relationship.

6. Raise your emotions. If the person resists your attempts to make them feel guilty, it's time to add drama to the situation. Cry, yell, stomp, or do something else to make him desperately want to comfort you and say what you want to hear.

   • Play on emotions. Use the words "disappointed," "selfish," or "ashamed" to fuel the person's inner guilt.

   How to get what you want

   1. Highlight your recent accomplishments or good deeds. If you are going to ask for something, then first you need to present yourself in a positive light. The better your reputation, the higher the chance of making a person feel guilty.

      • For example, if you want a new phone, start by saying, “Daddy, look at my report card! Only one four in all subjects!”
      • If you need to convince a person to donate to your charity, then talk about how you help the community.

   2. Appeal to the person's negative emotions. Sadness, sadness, anger, shame are the strongest motivators. If you need to get something from a person, then make him experience a negative emotion and give up in order to quickly replace this feeling with something pleasant.

      • For example, if you want to persuade your parents to go to a cafe, say: "I was hoping that we could have dinner together and spend time as a family, but no one seems to want it."
      • If you want new clothes, then say: "I'm shy, because the rest of the students dress better than me."
      • Use exaggerations like "always" and "never" to heighten the emotion. So say, "You're always at work and you never find time for me."

   3. Equate your desire with happiness or love. After calling for negative emotions, show the person that listening to you means making yourself and you better. Use words like "love" and "joy" or "the best" to get your point across. This method works well with parents who are usually eager to show their love.

      • For example, say, "You don't want to make me happy?" - or: "If you help me, then you yourself will feel better!"
      • More options: “You don’t love me?”, “If you really loved me, then ...”.
      • Keep in mind that your parents love you, so using this technique for something extremely insignificant is an ugly manipulation. It can be effective or it can piss them off.

   4. Keep asking in different ways after the initial rejection. Even the best technique may not work the first time. If the person does not give in, then take a break and repeat. It is important to act persistently and in the end the person will agree in order to get rid of the annoying pestering.

      • In case of refusal "I understand that you refused, but think about it differently ...".
      • You can also wait a few days and say, "I hope you change your mind and give me the car keys for the weekend."

   Warnings

   • There are many positive ways to convince a person. Feelings of guilt are best used only as a last resort or not at all.
   • Never force a person to have sex with you in this way. This coercion would be considered a form of sexual abuse.
   • Do not use outright lies and clever tricks.